Keeping it real. When self growth can medicate rather than heal you

Language is inadequate really to describe ‘real’ because my spiritual friends may say ‘well there it no such thing as ‘real’ because all of life is an illusion.’ I get that and that may very well be the case, but when I open my eyes in the morning, there is a bed, a window, walls, a house, things to touch and then in the mirror I see a body that everyone knows to call Gina. That’s what I mean when I say real. It appears tangible and with it goes the everydayness of life and the experiences that become memories.

I have done a lot of self growth. It’s coming up 16 years now. Somedays I really feel the benefits of its wisdom and some days it’s like I know nothing. I feel like a novice, a baby and teenager who is still stumbling along. But oh boy I wouldn’t change anything. I am am very slowly learning that is REAL life and the caution in doing too much spiritual or self growth work is that it can medicate you into a world that is another illusion. An altered reality where the pain of maintaining interaction with the real world increases and you lose all sense of living practically.

I listened to a totally brilliant podcast by Samantha Nolan Smith last week. She and Belinda Noakes talked about spiritual bypass blocking business success. For me there was a greater message in there about keeping life balanced and keeping it REAL.

Real for me is the default point from where you travel into your spirituality, business life, love life, social life and family life, sometimes hourly or minute by minute but if you can always come back to what’s real, right here right now.

I have a really cool bunch of spiritual friends and a brilliant bunch of close friends. They all keep things real for me and I adore that balance. I don’t pretend to be nice all the time and OMG ‘Love and Light.’ It can be utter BS sometimes. Just saying.

Boringly for some deeply spiritual people I am a realist in the way I approach life. ‘Meat and 2 veg’ some would say and my mum would describe it as ‘having 2 feet on the ground’ But it feels like a great place to be generally. I adore my spiritual life and everything I have done has helped me look at things that I needed to look at, but my life has ‘real’ going on and no amount of positive psychology will take me away from that.

My one question to you is this. Are so deeply into your spiritual quest that you have let real life behind?

What you can do to get some ‘real’ back

  1. Be brave, take a deep breath. Maybe sit with it for a bit before you do the next thing on this list.

  2. Ask your partner (always the best!) or anyone close to you to bring you another view of you. One maybe you have been denying. A lot can be there for you in terms of pressing that reality button. Unhappy partners for example can be saying things over and over again but you keep turning away from reality for the sake of spiritual quest which is actually causing you and them more and more pain.

  3. What does your life look like right now despite all the spiritual work you are doing? It’s all work in progress and maybe you are heading in a better and better direction. Shedding people, things and feeling the benefit. GOOD. But what if you seem to be closing down, turning away for the sake of your own stubbornness and repeating stubborn ingrained patterns that are closing you off from real and balance? Turn around and look at yourself, let it all collapse, fall down and open your heart to the truth of what’s here right now.

  4. Don’t keep everything in positive psychology mode. Feel the contrast of things pissing you off. Let through what bugs you, irks you and annoys the hell out of you. Move it through. Do Yoga, get outdoors, do sport, go and get some help to look at yourself, however spiritual you think you are.

  5. If you help the world in some way (thank you!) – just keep a check on your own life and reality balance. Too many people have a large spiritual persona and yet their life is a mess. Broken relationships, no money, always struggling. This is a life out of touch with reality. Please listen. The canny old Universe tends to bring us people and situations until we do indeed wake up. Heed the messages, it’s love calling.

Reality is balance and in balance happiness exists in abundance. I know it because I have felt it. Life is a series of ups and downs and I am in it with you. So lets keep it real so we can live to the full.

I love you x

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Gina
Yoga teacher at Gina Hardy Yoga

I am a Yoga guide, relationship coach and therapist. I focus on teaching Yoga these days and love to teach in class, on retreat and in a 1:1 setting with clients. My motto for life is ‘Live, Learn, Love, Pay it Foward’ Pay your wisdom forward, tread lightly on this earth and leave footprints of love. Thank you, you are always loved no matter what. Gx


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